9901a3081d_TigerElin_12112009I won’t quarrel, at least not entirely, with Tiger’s decision to take an “indefinite break” from being in the public eye. But don’t kid yourself, Tiger isn’t taking a break from golf per se. Golf isn’t what got him into trouble.

I could be wrong, but I think having sex with multiple other women might have been the culprit.

So why take away golf?

Golf is not to blame unless you want to say Tiger’s golf success and status gave rise [no pun intended] to the opportunity. But if that’s the case Tiger could go on to become a successful stock broker, a neuro-surgeon, or even the president of the USA, and he would still be confronted with the desire and temptation to give in to his sexual appetite.

So lets be clear about at least one thing, the break from golf has only to do with taking Tiger out of the fishbowl.

Everyone of us, at one point or another in life, encounters an event whereby we need some space and time to regroup. It’s impossible, or at least a good deal more difficult, to accomplish such a feat with tabloid-like coverage of your every move 24/7. An escape from the public eye, if only for a few months, gives Tiger [and Elin] much needed time out of the limelight.

But what, precisely, do they expect to accomplish?

While the TMZ’s of the world would have us believe Tiger is nothing more that a throw-caution-to-the-wind and insensitive horn-dog, the number and kind of escapades Tiger is reported to have engaged in is, according to even more reports, an addiction. Perhaps even a mental illness. Presumably therefore, like most other addictions and mental illnesses, there are treatments and cures. Personally, I think a healthy dose of personal will-power wouldn’t hurt.

No doubt whenever Tiger resurfaces, be that in days, weeks, months or years, there will be those who don’t buy the paragraph above. Some, like TMZ, won’t because there is still a buck to be made from believing and pushing the story otherwise. Others simply don’t believe in addictions and mental illness, much less in treatment or cures.

And then, of course, there is Elin who has ahead of her an entirely different challenge. I’ll get to that in a minute.

Tiger’s imposed or self-imposed purgatory, with or without treatment, may be successful. Like everyone else I don’t know what he is or is not capable of on a personal level. Although the kind of success Tiger has achieved in golf involves a certain discipline which should give him a leg up.

There are, however, at least a couple of possibilities I would argue are more likely scenarios and which suggests the road Tiger and Elin have chosen is doomed for certain failure. This leaves selfish fans such as myself questioning the logic of the hiatus away from golf.

Elin NordengrenAnother required read is the MailOnline piece entitled ”How Elin Woods couldn’t be less like the women Tiger jumped into bed with.” The piece is confirmation Elin Nordegren is anything but the stereotypical bimbo it appears Tiger has a secondary, if not a primary, attraction to. And therein lies the rub.

If Elin was, say a Holly Sampson or a Jaimee Grubbs, then Tiger would have less of an issue to contend with. There is a class of women (men too) who would be only too happy to be married to the billion-dollar athlete that bangs everything in sight. But those aren’t the girls who earn general public respect, a special place in mom’s heart, nor are they the women most men want as their wife and mother to their offspring. The fact Elin Nordegren is, on top of everything else, gorgeous, hot, and every other shallow superlative imaginable, simply a bonus. A bonus it may be too late for Tiger to further reap the benefits thereof.

Tiger can change, receive treatment and be cured. Forgiveness too, from Elin, while tenuous at best, is possible. Less certain is whether or not Elin can forget or at least put the sting far enough back in the memory bank to still have a happy life with her children and Tiger.

We aren’t talking, allegedly, about a single instance of transgression. While not excusable, that would be understood. But a plethora of wild orgies with dozens of skanky women, hookers and porn stars who now are only too happy to report on every detail of Tiger’s apparent endowing and energizer bunny like characteristics is likely too much of a painful and vivid memory for any woman – I don’t care how virtuous she is – to accept.

Tiger can re-write the definition of p-whipped, even taking it to new levels of submission never before performed, and it won’t change what I believe Elin will fail to ever get past.

The jury is still out on the wisdom of the “for the sake of the kids” argument, and in any event there are tolerance limits to what a spouse can put up with, which Tiger has, by all accounts, gone way above and beyond. In short, Tiger could tomorrow become a man of the cloth – bad analogy I know – and he is still doomed insofar as salvaging a healthy marriage with Elin Nordegren.

Finally, there is Tiger himself and what he is driven by. One does not become what Tiger is to the world of professional golf without it being ingrained into your blood and central nervous system. Tiger can, I am certain of this, get over or deal more appropriately with his sexual appetite. Tiger will also come to learn the best relationship he can have with his kids may not be in pretend family mode. In time that fairytale too fades and can, in fact, make matters for the kids worse, not better.

When it all changedSince the Tiger saga began, this space has been and continues to be supportive of Tiger. However, on December 9th when this image hit the real and figurative newsstands, Tiger’s and Elin’s road to recovery took a sharp turn for the worse. The current path and strategy, whatever it was, became irrelevant. On that day the very essence of what Tiger may have been dealing with forever changed calling for an all-new and back-to-the-drawing-board approach.

In order to resurrect, re-invent, and reintegrate himself back into the world of professional golf, Tiger and his sponsors need time to let the raging attention subside. Time in the penalty box is therefore the right thing to do and necessary. But time served needn’t, and I would argue ought not, take years.

Despite everything Tiger is, may be guilty of, and has or will come to genuinely regret, I simply can’t imagine on April 8, 2010, day one of the Masters, Tiger uttering the words, “Honey, [gulp] can I have the remote?”

On or before that date I strongly suspect true colours, clarity and direction will emerge.

Tiger Earl Woods 2Clearly, Tiger’s road to trespass forgiveness is made up of those who will, wont, cant, don’t care, and as we learned yesterday, those who are only too eager to exploit the opportunity for personal gain.

Surprisingly or perhaps unsurprisingly, the cast of characters seeking to exploit Tiger’s predicament is made up of people from both off and – this is the surprising part – on the golf course.

Even for the mighty Tiger, whose father trained him to ignore distraction by practice heckling him in his backswing, yesterday’s pointy-edge shot by Jesper Parnevik may expose an unanticipated vulnerability in Tiger’s armour. The character snickers, jeers, and steers will be new to Tiger.

Yet to be determined is how Tiger will be affected by fellow competitors who, with some sense of intent and purpose, will strive to ensure that Tiger is made to feel he is no longer “the man to beat,” but rather “a beaten man.” For those with no, or who never had, game to compete, the tactic may be their only hope.

The difference between being truly apologetic versus only sorry you got caught is often a matter of which sentiment you feel first. Those who deny feeling initially sorry [for themselves] they got caught will have a hard time graduating to true feelings of remorse. The cynics and the man-haters will believe what they want to believe and the Media will spin-it however they wish. This much we have already witnessed and not usually to the victims’ benefit.

For many it, unfortunately, takes “getting caught” and the associated all-fours-on-the-floor and gut-wrenching realization of the destruction one has caused to get beyond feeling only sorry for yourself or for getting caught. This much is in Tiger’s hands. How others, including especially his wife Elin, respond both in the short and in the long term is less so in Tiger’s control.

Of all the opinions out there, required reading should be Margaret Wente, who I don’t always find myself in agreement with, which yesterday’s piece was “In a case of lust over brains, a mighty Tiger becomes mortal.” To Margaret’s masterpiece I will take the liberty of adding the following bold, if not overly presumptuous final two thoughts.

First, perhaps more than any other celebrity infidelity, I suspect Tiger’s will have a more profound effect, both good and bad, on men in general than any other in modern history.

Second, the sad reality is a lot of men who themselves aren’t perfect, have tried to live a more perfect life vicariously through Tiger’s apparent perfection. For a lot of men their ultimate disappointment wont be with Tiger, but rather with themselves who, without a role model to excuse their own sins must now choose how to face their own daemons. This would be the best case scenario. The worst case scenario would result if most come to the conclusion “well, if he can do it…”.

In the meantime Kudos to Accenture who, in their latest advertisement below, apparently have no creative difficulty whatsoever demonstrating how very clearly they get it and, reading between the lines, their expectation that Tiger gets it too.Tiger next move

tigerwoods1Regardless of what he is guilty or innocent of, Tiger Woods may very well be the only celebrity whose non-communications strategy will, in the end, prove successful.

Let me explain.

Scour the news about Tiger and second only to the TMZ and Us Magazine onslaught, is the popular consensus among those considering themselves PR or Communications experts, that Tiger is improperly “handling” the matter. Or, in the case of Dave Perkins, the blame rests with Tiger’s “handlers.”

Most of the so-called experts profess that Tiger’s defence should have been a more proactive, but especially more timely, offence.

If we were referring to just about anyone other than Tiger, I might have agreed with the arm-chair strategists. In Tiger’s case, and I admit I could still be proven wrong, I am in full agreement with Tiger’s handling of the matter including especially his latest website post.

I say this not as a fan of Tiger – although full disclosure I am – fuelled by my own love of the game, but as a research and communications strategist with 25 years experience.

Those who see fault in Tiger’s handling of the matter – some of the very people and sports-casters who follow him – should know better than most from observing Tiger play golf, that one of Tiger’s most effective tools is his patience. Granted, Tiger knows when to attack e.g., his famous 210 yard 6 iron out of the sand on the 18th hole of the 2000 Canadian Open at Glen Abbey. However I think most connoisseurs would agree Tiger’s ability to be patient by waiting for just the right moment, or to let others fumble, is his greatest asset.

Not everyone will agree the game of golf, including especially the mental side of the game, transcends into everyday life let alone the hiccups along the way. But then again not everyone is attached, understands, or has enough course experience, to appreciate the link.

Many argue that by making a very public appearance and account for recent events, Tiger would accelerate the “recovery” period. Others prescribe a full public MeaCulpa for both substantiated and unsubstantiated accusations. And still others blame Tiger and/or his handlers’ poor handing of the matter as reason or justification for the exercise in tabloid archeology. “Talk to us or we will go find our own version of events” is the implicit and explicit threat from the TMZ/Us of the world to which most celebrities eventually succumb. In this regard Tiger is treated no differently and if recent days are any indication, worse. Much worse.

Beyond Tiger’s latest post on his own website, you can be assured of at least one more certainty. You will never, ever, see Tiger do the hand-holding impression of Bill and Hilary on 60 Minutes or Barbara Walters. Bank on it.

In Tiger’s case and Tiger’s case only, I disagree that Tiger providing more answers will tame the beast or stop TMZ/Us from their current witch-hunt. On the contrary. TMZ and Us are, in my view, Howard Stern on steroids. It’s not about reporting a significant or important piece of news, or uncovering a particular truth or untruth. It’s all, and only, about character assassination. A successful kill involves “bringing down a notch” selected individuals who have, in some form or another, reached greatness.

Under these circumstances any additional crumb of information or explanation Tiger might publicly share about a private matter would not serve as closure but rather as a springboard and a catalyst for further and much deeper intrusion. Tiger knows this and so too his handlers. And while Tiger has the good sense to show an appropriate amount of modesty and contriteness, he also knows enough to appreciate that his situation is truly unique.

It’s not so much that Tiger is the only person who can outlast or will this saga to its natural conclusion, rather it’s Tiger’s own insights into the matter that in his particular case the path he has chosen is his only option.

That so called experts don’t see this is only a reflection of their own inability to see outside the cookie-cutter strategy with which they have advised every other celebrity.

Screen shot 2009-11-29 at 9.07.54 AMThree years ago I wrote this post including the same graphic. The graphic is as meaningful to me today, if not more so, as it was then.

This post is not a speculative commentary about the recent news swirling around Tiger Woods. Instead, it’s a commentary – and a sad one at that – about the seemingly insatiable appetite people have for not just wanting to observe, but for psychologically wanting to “get-off” gawking at the plight of others.

Current events imploding upon Tiger Woods could happen to Joe Blow and nobody would know, notice, or care.

Fine, I get it that Tiger is, well Tiger. I am not suggesting the issue could or should go unreported. But it’s a little more than idle curiosity when half, if not more than half of those following the Tiger story are secretly hoping, if not outrightly cheering along at the prospect of the more salacious outcome. Would we wish the same for Joe Blow?

On Friday afternoon I was driving back from a business meeting in Toronto when shortly after 2pm 680 News was reporting that “Tiger Woods had been in a car accident and was seriously injured.” I admit that within seconds I was on the phone to my good golfing buddy, Ross, to inform him of the news. Difference is, not for a millisecond was I thinking, let alone hoping, this was, or would turn into, a so-called sex-scandal.

Not dissimilar to when I heard the first bits of emerging news about Michael Jackson, when I heard Tiger had been in a car accident I was immediately and immensely concerned for the wellbeing of the person who represents everything he does to a game so near and dear to my heart. It was both a selfish concern I may never see Tiger play again, and a more genuine concern that harms way might have come to a person for whom – while I have never met – I feel a certain sense of friendship and familiarity.

In that instant while on the phone with Ross, I was informing and sharing with a close friend who I know feels the same about golf and Tiger, that something tragic could be in the making.

Tragic indeed.

However the tragedy is no longer about Tiger sustaining physical injuries from a car accident, but rather the ever-growing and incalculable damage that is being [deliberately] inflicted as we breathe, speak, and type.

To the business of Media, and everything good and bad that would flow from it, the salacious versus the innocent outcome is worth hundreds if not thousands of times more than say Anna-Nicole, MJ, OJ, or Monica. Nearly every outlet from the relatively little-known 680 News, to TMZ, to Larry King’s CNN can’t wait to take their best shot at destroying Tiger, but above all, the image of Tiger.

Like everyone else, will I watch and observe this story, a story that has all the makings of “the story of the year?” Of course I will.

But where possible I will also pass along the best piece of advice given by Liam Neeson’s character in the 1995 movie Rob Roy; “…brother, bad enough that it might be so without you wishing it.”

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